Every holiday has its fair share of complaints or drawbacks. The one most frequently heard for Valentine’s Day is how irritating it is for everyone who is single. Year after year, adolescents wrapped in a veil of solitude mourn their deceased love life, as they watch couples exchange vows of eternal love and vibrant roses. If this sounds familiar, then this guide on how to spread the platonic love and find a platonic Valentine might be helpful.
Valentine’s Day is traditionally celebrated as a romantic holiday, which according to the general lore it is. However, we live in a rapidly expanding modern era. Love, along with many other definitions, is changing and evolving, and we as a society must change with it. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to revolve around romantic love; instead, it can incorporate platonic love as well. So for this Valentine’s, San Lorenzo Valley students can celebrate and share the kumbaya with their friends as well as their partner. Having a platonic Valentine is a great way to avoid the negative feelings that single’s commonly associate with the holiday, and allow them to feel excited as well. “Platonic Valentine’s are a good idea, that way no one feels left out,” says senior Rhys Jones.
To find one’s platonic partner (or partners), start by evaluating one’s friends. Not everyone may be open to the idea of celebrating Valentine’s Day as friends, as it’s conventionally reserved for couple’s. However, if one has a close friend who’s willing to just have a good time and enjoy some tasty holiday chocolates, they’re perfect to ask. Ask them with a witty romantic puns, they’ll be swooning like a startled swan.
The next step is to properly woo the platonic Valentine. They may have agreed, but the battle does not end there. Shower them with chocolates, while also snagging a few for some self love and indulgence. However, the most effective way to woo a platonic Valentine is serenading them. A pair of shiny disco pants with a stereo lifted up high, the sound of Rick Astley blaring through the neighborhood will make their heart skip a beat. Sophomore Alex Gertzfield describes the way Astley makes him feel by saying, “The second I hear ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ I feel immediately connected to whoever started playing it.” Alternatively, their heart could completely shatter in disappointment. If their eyes seem to be staring into a place far away, consider switching the music to “Shooting Star” by Bag Raiders.
Taking a platonic Valentine out somewhere is a great way to boost up Good Parter stats. If Valentine’s Day were an RPG, taking someone out would send bonding levels over 9000. A great place to go is The Crow’s Nest in Santa Cruz. Climb to the highest levels of the building, where the ancient crow resides. He will bestow upon the platonic Valentine delicious flan. Miniature golf is entertaining as well, as the preferred sport of the elite it’s quite a good show. Staying home and watching movies or binge watching shows is also a great way to have a good time. “Sharknado” really sets the mood, and “The Room” guarantees a great time. “Neo Yokio” will be sure to have platonic Valentine’s smiling, but only if they deserve this big Toblerone.
All of this so far has sounded like a joke. However, rest assured, this will help you have a great time with your platonic Valentine. It doesn’t need to be romantic, or special, or anything really. Time spent with a platonic Valentine just needs to be two friends, or more, being silly and having a fun time. Whether it’s singing terrible meme songs, watching low budget movies, or eating chocolate and laughing at terrible puns, Valentine’s Day with one’s friends should be joyous, entertaining, and full of enough love to push away all of the negativity that may have once presided over Valentine’s Day.
by Cat Shewfelt
The Claw 